Shitty Times

On my personal note today, i've just realised that i've over used my funds and cashs this 2 months. I've drained my cash and i "know" that i've over used and i shouldn't. The beauty of Shanghai and shopping. >_<

Its the realisation that the economy is not getting any better and i am not making 5 figures USD income that makes me having a cold sweat and sweaty palms. Its the negative feelings. Its the truth and its an unescapable fact that money is gold and rare, which makes them harder to find more than usual, especially in this freaking time now.

To break down my cold sweat, i've just realised that i still have some debts to be paid and i need to save more for future purposes. There ARE plentiful that need to spend, including rents and basic necessities, plus with the fact further more that more than ever, that i need to be the person and the man to give more to the family. The breakdown of the thought of it makes me tremble and have this uncontrollable fear of being poor and broke.

I hate that fucking feeling of no $$$, i need to find ways to increase my wealth. I need to overcome my fear of no $$$, but is there any methods to overcome this fear? I afraid not. I need to sacrifice my lifestyle more now, for the better, in order to have more cash in my freaking bank account, after i've pay my dues (my debts) with the company and to the person that i owe to.

Lifes shitty at time, ain' it?

>_<