Miscommunication

I am a little bit feeling down today. Apparently i did make some bad remark or bad quote yesterday. I supposed that i offended the person and i felt that i did nothing wrong. Maybe its just that people are different and due to the difference in culture and understanding. They maybe offended, i supposed. I am not feeling good because of the response given to me, the feedback apparently is somehow grey. You know, the part that you think you are not totally wrong but not totally right.

So perhaps it is due to this, all the misunderstanding and miscommunications involved, that make all these bad feelings around. So, i hope that i can do something about it and make something worthwhile about it. I wish that things are much more simpler. You do not have to think in such a complex way, so complexity and so much worry and confusion. I prefer to keep things simple and easy. It that way, it makes me happier as a person.

What will you do if really things do go little bit of wrong and there is tension arise in the between of people. Do you proactive to find an amicable solution to make its feels better, or do you just keep it that way and sit on your ego hoping the other person apologize, or do you feels nothing at all and do nothing about it? Which individual are you?

I believe i'm the 1st one, the person that will find a way to make it better. The proactive one that will just try to make it corrected and makes the vibe alive again. I think it is the best way for me and i will feel much better about it. But, it takes 2 hands to clap. Hence, i'll need the other side to actually understand that it is not done on purpose. It is just a message that carries meanings that you might disagree with.


Why izzit that life can be so complicated at times?

Sunny Day

Today is rather a hot, sunny humid day. It is usual for for the weather here plus a huge amount of haze lingering around me. It is quite hazy i mind you. The results of over developed industrial area. Factories and large scale factories and plants are everywhere. And the result is haze ........

Anyway, i am feeling rather plateau today. Little excited, little moddy, little funny, little relax and little of every feeling flowing through my body. Undescripable feeling, yet somehow feels good i think. How about you? Do you feels the same way too? Or you are too busy attending to your daily routines such as shopping for your matching handbag, finding the perfect pair of matching shoes with the dress you bought that day, or would it me just chilling out with friends over a cup of ice latte or ice lemon tea. Earl grey perhaps? For guys, most probably would be still dozing over yesterday too much of liquor or just wake up with a massive headache and cold sweat. Or perhaps is just like everyone else, chilling out with the buddies while the eyes maneuvering over the sexy hot ladies at Starbucks. Haha!

I do found out something yesterday with my friend, we discuss and talk talk talk. We found a common subject and we do agree with each other. We realised that life itself is just fucked up. Life is uncertain and life is rather funny! Seriously. Lets make some thinking. Bishops molesting young boys, relationships goes haywire, love is messy, life is hard, people is cunning in one way or another, peoples are suffering, peoples engaging in politics and kill each other, crimes flourishing and justice is not prevailing. Etc Etc Etc and add at your own delight.

How to you feel and how to you view this world? Nice or just rather sucks to the bare bone? Yeah! Of course there are goodness in this world. Love from your mother, father and love ones. Kind hearted people and people with good deeds. There is.

It is always balance. It is like that. Yin Yang. Bla Bla Bla...We come to conclusion. Just relax and enjoy every single of your life and stop worry too much. Live your life and be happy. I believe that is the best way to live my life. How about you?

Personality Test

I have taken a nice little test from a website. It is called 3 dimension power and luck test. It test your belief system and it is rather nice. Enjoy the test yourself if you can. Nice!

You Are Internal - Realist - Empowered

You feel your life is controlled internally. If you want something, you make it happen. You don't wait around for things to go your way. You value your independence and don't like others to have control. You are a realist when it comes to luck. You don't attribute everything to luck, but you do know some things are random. You don't beat yourself up when bad things happen to you... But you do your best to try to make your own luck. You have a good deal of power, but you also know the pecking order. You realize that working the system does get you further. You know who to defer to and who to control. When it comes to the game of life, you play things flawlessly.

The Three Dimension Luck and Power Test

Feelings Feelings

Feelings Feelings , emotions Emotions, will you please stop tormenting me and torturing me to every single part of my heart. I felt you and i felt it. It is a very destructive force yet it is meaningful. It can bring the best out of a person and can destroy a person's confidence. I am soft and i need to change it. I need to be the person that character will reflects that of a successful person. Whether it is successful business man or a person at the tip of a corporate ladder.

Love is love. We need love, the hell with it, i love my family and i love my dear. I love them so much that i'm seeing stars right now even as i write this. I am making myself invulnerable and less thoughtful now by listening to my fav genre songs. Lounge songs such as Hed Kandi. Tunes that makes me spin, makes me confident, that reminds me back to the old days few years back in clubs all over KL. Places that makes me go relax and just enjoy the tunes and bass. Music that will feed into my soul and makes me go haywire and dance. Accompanied by booze and hard liquors pouring down my throat. The days that life is nothing but carefree and fun.

I need to switch to a different person right now. I am feeling down and felt like shit. But i need to be strong and i have to be the "logical successful me". I believe i can do it. It just a matter of time but i need to be fast.
I received a call from a friend back home just now. I felt better at least i know that i'm not all alone in the universe. Felt much better now.

Feelings Feelings, Emotions Emotions, i need you in me, but i'm not going to let you ruin me and control over me. The REAL me, the guy who would be successful and rich one day. Yes, i'am an idealist and proud to be one.

Last but not least, LOVE is a powerful thing, use it wisely. Let it runs in your blood and feel your life. You will be more complete as a person. But do not let it ruin you and control over yourself and everything that you do. Happiness is what we seek and happiness is what you will get. May happiness falls freely all over you forever!


:)

Emotions

I felt that life is somehow related to out everyday weather; sometimes it is hot, sometimes it rains like nobody business. The weather here is exactly that way for the past 3 days. It was so hot in the afternoon, and suddenly, it rains and i saw ice-cubes as well. Ice was falling from the sky.

OMG! It is summer la.

I was feeling up and down for the last few days. In fact for the past whole week. It was like roller-coaster ride going from the highs and lows, from the top going down at 100km/h leaving your heart at the top while your body is at the bottom. These feelings of good and bad, nice and terrible makes my life difficult. My love for my family and my dearest is hurting me. I miss them a lot. Yet, here i am, thousands of kilometres away from them. I miss Romeo. Everytime i remember and imagine his smile and giggle while saying "Ba Ba Ba" makes my heart soft. It is devastating. I felt terrible. I felt pain in my heart.

I wish that my heart will not be that soft and emotional. I wish that my heart is solid as a rock, less emotions. So i can be less "emotional me" and be logical all the time. So that i can be less vulnerable to these emotions that filled my life. There is always 2 sides to everything.

No doubt about it, i am an emotional person. I can connect easily to people. I can gain peoples trust and respect faster. It was all because of my emotional heart that understand peoples feeling easier. I am a people's person. It comes with a price.

When bad things happens and emotions get involve in the way, it is a bad mixture. It is like mixing acid with calcium. Bad things happens. And yet you know you can't control the situation. My heart works negatively on me. I suffer and felt pain. It was barely bearable and it is painful. I have to use my "logical-self" to overcome my pain. I was telling myself, when i finish this coffee and ice-cream, i will be feeling better. I repeat that repeatedly. I need to. I know i have to. I smokes and hopes that my pain will be better.

My love for my dear is painful. Yet i know i can't let her know that. I knew she felt it. We both knew this is the best for us. It is logical to do this. It is the most viable way based on our current situation. I have to overcome my feelings. It is the "right" thing to do. I wish for the best outcome possible and i wish that things will get better. I wish that i can be less emotional and forgets the hurtful feelings faster. I have to. I will and i shall.


Tomorrow will always be a better day, isn't it? :)

Ice-Cream

Yesterday night was emotional for me. I was hanging out by myself after work. It was hot and it was frustrating. I felt bloody miserable and damn hot. I need to chill out and make myself cool. I decided enough was enough.

I was chatting with my friend online. She suggested me to go eat ice-cream to cool down the heat. I was enlighted and felt good at that moment. I knew ice-cream is what i need. I want it cool and i want to eat it alone while smoking at the corner of the cafe like a chimney. I was feeling terrible. But i need something to hang on and ice-cream seems to be a perfect solution to my problem then.

I ask my chinese friends what they call ice-cream in mandarin. He gladly answers me and by the time i reach home, i was sweating and making my way to clean myself. I had a cold bath and that does not make me feel any better. I really need to go to my ice-cream.

I walk out and headed to the favourite nice cafe around the corner. I ordered a ice cappucino with no sugar and order some ice-creams, fruitty passion, fruitty ice and a glass of cold water. I took out my ciggy and start to smoke like chimney and enjoy the environment while listening to the soft music playing at the background.

I felt like shit but at least i got my ciggy at my hand and the chilling cold sweet fruitty ice and ice-creams. I enjoy eating it. But i know that does not solve my problem. I just need to cool down and as what people says, time heals as times goes by. I am having personal problems. I was emotionally distracted, i was devastated and i am still feeling terrible.

I knew i needed my ice-cream and my ciggy. I stayed there for the whole evening and had my dinner there as well. I sit down there at the sofa laying down relaxing myself listening to the nice soft pleasant music playing in the background. I lick and eat on my ice-cream. I smokes and i sip my nice coffee. It was very nice and at least it will help me temporily to forgets about the problems i'm going through. Who would resist to a cold ice-cream anyway?

I wish that you will have your favourite ice-creams anytime you want, you need and you desire. Who wouldn't like it that way anyway? :P

The Real World

How does the real world looks like? I assume each and everyone of us have a different definition of the meaning of it. Some says its a fair world, some says that it is an injustine world, some says it great, some says its hard, some says its fair, some says the strongest survives and much more.

To me, the real world is harsh yet its exciting as well. What did you say, you may ask. What i mean is, it is harsh when you look at the poor and the ugly side of it. The beggars in the streets, the war between nations, the results of conflicts and misunderstandings, the harsh world of capitalism, the lack of money that forces parents to sell the kids and so much more.

Yet it is exciting when you look at the bright side of it, the namely rich and successful type of person. The sight of sunrise with your love ones lying on the beach, the aroma of the perfect wine over a fantastic candlelight dinner, the glimpse of the most adorable baby born in the world, the sweetness of the smile when everyone is happy, the sound of laughter that shakes the whole room during festives, the newly bought Ferraris and etc etc etc. Add anything you like to your preference.

I mean seriously, how to you view the above. I picture them once in a while, i see them very often here in China. You can see it everywhere in the world. Somalians dies every year due to malnultrition, lack of hygiene in their drinking water. beggars in China and India waiting for donations here and there.

But, you also can see that billionaires emerged a lot from China and India as well. Economy and shares are surging and rising as bull run, corporations are making good money and shares are surging, more and more beautiful cars being driven on the street and much more. Yet some are still very poor and live on the streets, eats very little and lacks of basic necessity to live. Some are middle class people trying everyway to make their lives to be better for their family, children and for their future. They climb the corporate ladder and goes into rat race to compete with each other while backstabbing to get to their dream career only to find out that roses have thorns too.

What do you think?

P.S. Are they really any choice for people in Somalia? Can they become rich? *go figure*

Monday Blues

How is your Monday looks like? Does it looks gloomy or does it look bright to you? For me, monday represents a whole new week. A new week that comes with great work and great challenge. I push myself to work and think out of the box, to think ahead what is needed and what can be done to improve further beyond that is necessary.

What i have in my mind on Monday is usually quite funny and hilarious if you were to ask me. Two sided or two kinda thinking goes into my head. 1 is the "comfort me", the side that will always be lazy, prefers to just sit at the beach and be a beach bum, hang around and do nothing, the "common me". Meanwhile, the other side of me is the logical, make perfect sense "Energetic, Positive me". This character is the ferocious type of me. I switch to be positive, energetic, planner, do-er, makes everything happens, can do and will do whatever it takes to be successful kinda attitude.

It takes me a while to realized that, in me, there will always me 2 type of person. 1 "comfort me" and the other confidence me. What i think is this, each and everyone that ranges from teen to even old age, will or might have the same thing. They have 2 personality in them. It is only whether they realise it or not. If you were to realize yours, then i congratulate you. You have achieved a 2nd step to success!

Everyone need to be balanced in their life, you need to rest, you need to eat, you need to spend time with your family, you need to find yourself spiritually, you need to work, you want to be successful, you want and need to do gazilions of things in your everyday life. How do you managed it? You also do have lust, you need love, you want to be loved in return, you want to be on control, you want to control how things work in your life, you want to control over your destiny and you want to be successful. Not forgetting rich and famous, if i might add.

How do you managed to do everything mentioned above and squeezed everything in your everyday life? What i do is that, i switch myself everyday at the condition i need to be. For example, i need to be the "confident me" in office, while meeting with new people, meeting with higher management people, with business partners and with all sorts of people outside. But, when i go back to home and meet my family, i switch. I become the lovely person and the comfy me. I relaxs and let my stress go, i go and enjoy my life with my friends, my family, enjoy the food and savour the aroma. I taste it and enjoy my life. I go and do my foot reflexology, watch some movies, chat with my friend online and etc.

What i mention is my way of making my life less stressful but yet appear confident in my everyday work. I fulfill my own inner being and also my duty. To work and to relax.

Remember guys/gals, the choice of your everyday decision lies in the palm of your hand. Choice to be happy or be sad. To be in control or to be out of control.

Make yours wisely. I have made mine.

Miss the Good Food

Yeah, I miss the good food back home. The reason i'm writing this down today is because of the SUPER lousy food i have during my lunch. Its not only funny taste, they veggies is terrible, meat is hard and too salty, fish is smelly and stinks with foul smell. I can't stop wondering and imagining the good old food back home.

No i do not have much of a choice of food during lunch. Foods are prepared in an order with choices of 2 veggies, 3 types of meat. I can only choose 2 veggies and 2 types of meat. Yucks! Veggies is funny, its not green and do not have leaves. Its jelly cooked with too much oil.

Meanwhile, the meat is salty, salty and too salty. I was having headache the 1st day i put the food in my mouth. I have to drink 2 cans of Coke to overcome it.

Meanwhile, i am imagining now the taste of the good old nasi lemak ayam merah, teh tarik ais, kopitiam kopi, thai food, chinese cuisine, malay dishes, char kuey teow, chicken rice and much more. *Drooling* now!


OMFG! I am really hungry! Hahaha.


Theres nothing as good as food back home. Enjoy it!


P.S. Anyone kindly enough to send me Kopi Ais bungkus?

Hot Hot Hot

It was NOT only hot, it is damn freaking f**king HOT!

The temperature is around 36 Degree Celcius. No rain, only summer wind blowing at your face. Just imagine using your hairdryer and blow at your own face and you will understand what i mean. Except it is blowing everywhere including at your body. Try it! I rather stay in the fridge with a blanket... :)

So it is summer now in China and the summer sun has only just started to shine his nice ray on us. They predicted next month will even be hotter! Around 39 to 40 Degree Celcius. OMG! Portable air-con anyone can borrow me?

I think i can cook a toast bread by hanging a bread at the window. Seriously. It is HOT!

But whens its hot, every other things get hotter as well. For example, the ladies get hotter by wearing less. Hahaha. The other day i was complaining to my friend that i really HATE hot, then he answer me he like it HOT. I ask why, he says ladies get sexier, more revealing and wear lesser thinner materials for their clothes. Haha. I was surprise but i agree. Haha.

He added when winter comes, all will be wearing thick and moody color clothes. Agreed twice. So its better now, he added. Talk about different perspective and different point of view.

Last but not least, if hot is what we'll be getting, get your sunblock ready ladies and gentleman. Get your bikinis and sunglasses ready! Coz it is gonna get HOT!

Life's A Funny Thing!

I found out that LIFE is really a funny singular object (replace any words u like). Some are lucky, some are eaasy going, some got it rough, some got it the hard way, some get less, some get more, some are really pitiful yet some are doing GREAT!

Recently i was encounter with some unfortunate and unlucky circumstances. Things do not goes well right now. Felt like pouring out and start some little weeping. But i'm not going to do that. I'm not going to be push by life unfortunate events. I am strong mentally and i will be even stronger when i bounced back from it. I do understand how it works and i do believe that if u stays and think on the bright side of life, you will actually get better.

Those who are close to me will know what i am refering to. It is quite disturbing and hurtful. They do understand what am i is going through right now. My life is is not going that smooth but yet here i am writing to you hoping that you will understand that life is indeed a funny little thing.

There will always be positive and negative, yin yang, black and white in life. When there is something going GREAT with you, there will always be people who suffer. When u get luckier, remember that there are people who the other end of dimension, UNLUCKY. There is no explanation to it in anyway u define it.

It is just that i hope that i'll be getting the LUCKY side. Things might change to be better, or it might get worst. Just that i need to be prepared for it.

I am really wondering, is there anything that i can do about it? I can't. Work is piling on me slowly and stopping me from breathing sooner or later. But yet, i need it to support my life and family. I wished that i will be able to control everything i do, but yet i know that it is not possible. Life is indeed a funny little thing (twice).

Here i post my blog and unable to read it, read my previous post, felt funny as well. I can write whatever shit i wanted but yet i am unable to read it. i can't comment (if any) on my post. Forgive me if i can't. Remember Yin Yang, i am able to write but unable to read. Funny right?

I am able to make more money by being in China, have a better prospect in the future, have a better career, have a good life but yet i lost my time with my family, felt losing myself in searching for my goal, losing out of sight from my true goal, losing bit by bit of my dreams, losing the taste of good food back home. Yin Yang anyone?

I like a line from my favourite movie / sitcom "Heroes". There standing this guy name Nathan Petrelli facing the ever mysterious Mr.Linderman in the kitchen making pot pie. Mr Linderman ask if Nathan would like to have A LIFE OF HAPPINESS OR A LIFE OF MEANINGS. Nathan replied "I would like to have both". Linderman added, "It is similiar, but two entirely different path. A LIFE OF HAPPINESS, a man have to live his life at the present moment without thinking about his future or past, just enjoy every single moment of the present and feel it." He added "A LIFE OF MEANING you have to embrace the past and live in the past, control and plan meticulously for your future and tomorrow".

I understands and felt it when he says that. I would like to have both as well. But i know i can't. You have to balance it. It is always 50 / 50. 50% HAPPINESS and live your life at the present, 50% MEANINGFUL and learn your past and plans your future. Juggle with it. Live your life now and enjoy every single moment of it, but yet you have to learn from your past and plans for the future. Thats the way it should be.Yin Yang!


Life is sweet, sour, bitter, funny, lovely, cute, beautiful, pretty and i love it.


LIFE is indeed a funny lovely little thing!

Small Little Problem!

Arghhh.....!!!! What is the heck wrong with Chinese government or some stoopid IP block anyway. I can't log into any of the blogspot page to view and to check out the happenings and the news of fellow bloggers at blogspot.

I MEAN literally i can't view my own blog and other bloggers writings from China. WTF! I can access to wordpress and others but blogspot. What i suspect is that the Chinese government decided enough is enough for open and free information. They are trying to control people in China to view certain webpages to be seen particularly sensitive and mind challenging news.

Hence, they kill of the IP and there it goes, free information, free news, free gossip, free ideas died from their lack of senses to banned people in China to access blogspot. WTF!

Don't they realised majority of Chinese in China have a poor English knowledge. They rarely understands English and MAJORITY do not UNDERSTAND english. Mandarin, i mean, CHINESE slang mandarin is what they speak, write and listens to. SO what the heck are they trying to ban an English blog anyway? *Scratching my head*

Anyway to my fellow friends and my dear, if you are reading this, screams for me! ARGH....!!!!

P.S. Miss my Teh Ice and the white Coffee Ice too damm much! :) Tar Pau anyone?

Missing Romeo

Yeah, i've been missing him for about 2 to 3 weeks and it seems forever the feeling if you were to ask me. The cute small chubby face, the sweet little shouting voice of his, the soft touches when he touches you, the calling of him "ba ba ba" at me making my heart soft.

Miss him so damm much.

Anyway, life here in Shanghai, China pretty much the same as in Singapore, except people here speaks of Shanghaiese Mandarin. Quite dirty the condition of roads and walkways. Dusty. Just imagine the road at KL around Masjid Jamek LRT station. Yeah, sumthing like that. Dusty and lots of people and bicycle.

Food pretty different, varieties and ranging from international cuisine to the local kampung chinese food that might not be suitable to individual taste. Been to the Metro City shopping centre, 5 floor of computer center in ShaoXi road. Pretty much like our Imbi Plaza or Low Yat, except more people, more shops and bigger in size.

Come back to food in the lower ground. Lots of it, thinking around 50 to 60 stalls of food. Quite tasty. The only 1 thing here is people do smoke in air-con environment in shopping centers, hotels and restaurants.

Girls here are slightly different from Singapore and Malaysia. They do NOT iron their clothes, most of them have bushes of armpit hairs and they do wear sleeveless blouse, mind you, they are fair in skin color of course and get to red cheek very easily when hot. You might accidently think they blush when see you. Haha.

Their fashion sense is not as updated as ladies in Singapore and Malaysia. Their office attires varies. Mostly is overly casual and not in professional office attires you see in Singapore and Malaysia. YES, they do NOT iron their office clothes as well. Thinking it is not their culture and habit of ironing clothes.

Thats all for now.

Lunch time and will update you again.

Shanghai Shanghai!

Here i come Shanghai Shanghai China! Reach at Pudong International Airport at Saturday. Reach hotel in Shanghai downtown district at a cozy nice hotel name Home Inn.

Anyway, what i found out the difference in culture between Malaysian, Singaporean and Shanghaian is a lot to be compare.

Malaysian - laid back, cozy, slow pace life
Singaporean - fast, competitive, safe environment
Shanghaian - faster, more competitive, very loud speaking :) *esp on the phone*

I also notice some certain traits of people in Shanghai and i will try to list it down for your references.

1. Same skins as Chinese south east Asians but speaks different slang of Mandarin.

2. Some kinda rude in speaking. Loud and non-bothering with others next to them.

3. Driving dangerously. VERY dangerously. DO NOT stop for people crossing the road.

4. Lots of bicycle and electric bicycle even at the downtown and middle of shopping district. Imagine Orchard Road filled with bicycle everywhere. Imagine Bintang Walk full of bicycle.

5. Some rural workers working at the busiest junctions and roads at the shopping centre NOT wearing any tops *man* ;)

6. The underground train network is full of people. MORE people than Singapore MRT. Been there and tried that.

7. Certain ladies are kinda *kampung*. Eg, Squatting or sitting at stairs wearing skirts and open their legs like as if they are wearing jeans *you can actually see what they are wearing underneath* and its not particularly a single person. LOTS of ladies at library, book store, food courts, and etc.

8. They do not dare to take unnecessary risk at work. Eg, if u ask the waitress for an extra slice of lemon for your ice lemon tea, they will actually ask the permission from their superior. And they come back to you and inform you its not allowed and you do have to pay EXTRA for that slice of lemon.

9. Lots Lots lots lots of people in Shanghai. 17mil people in Shanghai.

10. Lots of VW cars. Volkswagen cars in Shanghai. Taxis using VW cars.

11. Kinda of dirty compare to Singapore on the streets.

12. People still spits at the walkway full of people walking along. Even in shopping complexes dustbin.

13. They serve beers in food courts and its cheap compare to Singapore and Malaysia.


Will further update when times allowed and more discovery.

Lol! Enjoy...