Insecurity, Emotions and Fear

This post is personal. Its from within. Its actually the result of the Law of Newton, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. And this post is the opposite reaction for mel's post, complicated emotion.

1st-ly, i wanted to dissect the whole subject logically. Where did she get the feelings from? Why did she felt that way? What happen that makes her feels this way? Thousands of questions. Millions of answers. Billions of probabilities. One single truth. Insecurity + Fear.

I think that almost all females have these. It is built-in and within their genes. The un-defined chromosome that makes them feel insecure and needed re-assurance + guarantee to make them feel better. It is something that exists in woman, and of course, in some boys too. Its how woman do and react, have their 6th sense and their motherly instinct. It their survival skill.

That is where the part male species comes in. Males species homosapien has the lack of the understanding of how these things works. It is sort of empathy + sympathy. The feeling and the care that a man shows to provide care and understanding to woman. To make them feel better. Reassured. Makes them feels secure. To give them what they need, the feeling of re-assurance and security. Its in their genes.

Back to the story. Why does that Mel feels so emotionally challenged? I believe it comes from lack of directions and the constant changes evolves around her life and daily routine. Its the chaos and the stress level that comes from work and everyday life.

Generally, i believe when it comes to this scenario, where deep down inside your heart, when you feel insecured and lack of something to hold on to, you mis-react. They wanted to be busy. They believes that, if only, that they have more work and busier, things will be better. They believes that they have some-sort-of-karma-and-control that things will be eventually better. It is also dues to that when you feel you are busy with new challenges and new works, naturally you will feel "better" due to that you overcome new challenges and getting the praise that you deserved! You believe it works that way.

I think all of these are only fractionally true. It is not that i mean that you should laid back like an asshole doing nothing. It is also not that i mean you should not work like a horse to achieve what you wanted.

It is just that i believe that if you feel insecure and have a sort of fear, you have to look inside. Stop running. Stop thinking and believing that if you are to be in control more of any situation, things will get better. They don't!

The more you are trying to control. The more LIFE screw you up. The more you are trying to control things around you. The more YOU will screw things up. The more you are trying to control the people around you. The more HE/SHE will riot and screw up.

Then, not only you will micro-managed it, you are also expecting the results to be exact of what you wanted. You will wish to control 1001 things in your mind, things around you and people you love and care. You wanted to "believe" that by getting busy, be in control and by doing things fast and everything will makes things better. It won't. You will only make it worst.

Have you seen those scenario and real life cases before? I bet you would. Mothers who expects their children to perform up to their expectation, micro-managing it to the things they do and how they expect their child to behave. What happens next?

We created a monster or a poor soul. Either this monster will grow up to be a heartless person who do bad and nasty things to others or this little soul will have no courage and full of fear to meet the world and society outside. And all of these happens, is because the parents is fearful and insecure about their children's life.

Life sucks. Get over it. People die everyday. Be grateful that you still have this breath right now. Theres nothing you can do to make it better. The world is complex nor it is fair. Don't make it even more complicated that it has been.

What you need right now is:

1. Cool down. Try to cool down and slow down once a while. Do nothing in fact and read a book. Go to gym or do some exercise. Make your brain slow down. You will only then start to feel that you have a life. Feel your life. Afterall, you only live once. Why the hell you wanted to be so busy until you forgotten about your own life?

2. Look within thyself. Stop and do nothing. Think of nothing. City life is like that. Metropolitan lifestyle is faster than bullet train. Look within yourself and ask yourself. Is this what makes me feel this way? Am i who i am? Is this what i wanted? And the only you can ask yourself that, is when you cool down and be in peace with yourself.

3. Go yoga or go workout. I think by doing yoga and working out has its way to de-stress you. I have done that and i can feel it. Blast some techno and rock songs. Pump that muscle. Stretch your fatigued muscles after. Go to yoga. Try out the pilates. I tell you. The more you do, the more you will get addicted to the pain feeling of your muscles aching. Its like you muscles are telling you, that you are looking better, getting healthier and most importantly, you are INDEED ALIVE.

4. Have a broader understanding and a wider perspective of the world. That not EVERYTHING is within your control. That sometimes LIFE do workout to be different from what you expect it to be. That sometimes LIFE really sucks. That the fucker in front of you just cut your lane when you have the worst jam in your entire life. That the fucker just took your car park space when you are rushing for your urgent meeting. Bla bla bla.


Hey! Didn't i told you, LIFE sucks? But, be of no sad nor down. Sometimes it work out to be better. Just ask those fellas who went to work late in the New York Twin Tower during 9/11. Just ask those fella who are late to board the 4 flights in States on 9/11. Just ask those fellas who has life experiences encountering the worst, life taking experiences. This i can guarantee you, nothing else matters anymore.

Quote from Steve Jobs at here:

".. almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."


You can say that i am a eternally optimist or just vain. But hey, thats me! And it work out pretty fine. At least, i am feeling happier than most of those out there. At least i have made my achievements that i am pretty proud of. At least, i still optimist of the future in front of me. At least, i have done something proud in my life.

Last but not least, i am still happy, excited, proud, optimistic and feeling full of life! To capped this, i say Stay Hungry Stay Foolish!