Boiling Pressure!

Today is really the worst day and the day that i can make myself to forget about. So many things happen, really stressful and funny stuff happens in my life in one fucking funny day. After thinking back of what that actually happen in the last 24 hours, i can giggle and laugh back at myself for what i've written in my blog. Its true and its the truth. I do felt like shit this afternoon. One comes after another shit. Now even at night i've step into more shit. Really. I felt funny.

My sister, my friend, my darling msn me and ask what happen until i am so fucking stress up today in the afternoon. Yes, they do concern about me. I'm happy about their concern showing them that i'm not alone and not that lonely in this lonely planet. As for my darling, i've read her message and felt very concern after reading it. She is very lonely right now with Romeo. She suffers alone, all alone without me being there to help and console her. She crys and weeps thinking about me and what did actually went wrong in our life. I am and was thinking that all the time as well. I sometimes, even as a man and the pillar of the family also can't take that heavy stress and the pressure of love and emotions. We are really a creature of habits and emotions. It is hard to control your emotions and it takes a great deal of courage and iron-willed actually to do that. Its the sheer determination and the iron heart to be able to overcome emotional stress. I do hope that my darling will be able to withstand the pressure and the stress currently.

I do have my own set of problems as well. Pressure from work, pressure from monetary issue, pressure of responsibility as a family man, fatherly pressure, as an eldest son pressure and etc. Pressure to succeed in the real life in terms of career, as a person both emotionally and physically, financially pressure to escape from rat race and hope that i can actually escape from it. So fucking many pressure and stress to take in at all times. All responsible man will have that pressure from these environment as well. How do they actually take it all in at the same time? Really wish i can as strong as them.

At the same time today during eve of midnight, received some sms's from my darling back from home in home country. I felt disturb and felt a great deal of compassion, sympathy, empathy, love and responsibility for my own family, Romeo and myself as well. How does it come to this event that is happening in my life right now? I am confused and lost my direction in searching and working for money, the M word that is used to solve gazilions of problems that i'm facing right now.

I have seen a feng shui master before during end of last year. Went together with my wife in hoping to search for an answer that can gives us enlightment and clues that can make my future looks brighter. She went on and told me that the current situation that i'm facing right now is a rough patch in my life right now. She went on and says that i'm just like a Mercedes Benz S class series going through a rocky road right now. I believe that my life will be better very soon. I believe in that, and at least i have a hope that can gives me some shining enlightment when the times goes dark.

I am hoping for the best and i will work for it, being a proactive and a doer, i believe that times ahead of me will be better if i keep on focusing on my dreams and goals. I can make it happen and i believe in myself that i can do it!