Randomness 2007 - Jokes!

I am particularly tired and exhausted for the last 2 working days. I could have manage to doze of in the bus if i wanted to. For the last 2 days, i have been not having peaceful and long sleep either. Maybe its just that i am getting older by each year and with the workload and stress that i'm taking in, it will definitely take a toll on my body. Ciggies, oily food, lack of physical sweating exercise, sweet stuff poured down my throat and booze last time during the last 10 years does not make any good either.

I felt tired. But i was positive and energetic when i need to. For example, during at night when the stress and workload was left at the office. Those who work really hards understands. You do not need to be sympathetic with me, just empathy will do.

I forgot what it feels like the last time i when to a cinema. It was at least 2 months back the last time i did went to a movie. They do not serve english speaking films here at my place. Even Transformers is shown in Mandarin. Can you imagine Optimus Prime talking in mandarin? OMG! Hahaha. That would be fun. But, just that i do not really understand fully the mandarin words. I'm particularly weak and poor in command of this language.

My sifu aka my next sitting friend is not here today. Do not know why. Maybe he fell sick and decided to call it a day. Perhaps he overwork yesterday, who knows. Just that suddenly, without him around in the office. It is more quieter and more peaceful, hahaha. Good jolly man! Full of jokes and stuff!

He once told me of a real story that happens to his friend. Here is how it goes, his name is Meng. He is obese and fat in fact. One fine day, when he was walking by this street near Geylang, Singapore, he saw this slimming place for men and the price is really cheap and affordable. It caughts his attention. He decided to walks in and browse through the prices available for his package. It was written, 1. SGD100 for 5kg lost, Guaranteed. The 2nd package is SGD200 for 10kg lost, Guaranteed as well and the last 1, 3rd package is written SGD300 for 15kg lost, Guaranteed. Being a typical man and with the unbelievable low price and his skepticallism, he decided to try out the cheapest package for a trial.

He was escorted to a room. He waited in there for about 5 minutes. Knock Knock! The door in front of him opens and to the shock of his life, a Chinese supermodel lookalike with a super sexy bods wearing a slightly transparent workout suit walks in. She says," If you can catch me, i will let you do whatever you pleased!". Meng's heart was beating like a horse running wild. He was too excited and he chases after this chinese lady for 30 minutes around the room. 45 minutes gone and she finally gets too tired running. He catch her by the arms and make love to her passionately. He smiles and walks of after that feeling satisfied and lost 5kg at promised by the shop. He felt good and feels alive with all the sweat and weight lost. He determine to go back again tomorrow.

By tomorrow, slightly around 6pm after work, he heads back straight to that particular shop again. This time, he is more daring and adventurous, and judging by how much weight he lost and the fun he have yesterday, he decided to go for the 2nd package. This time his heart was beating even faster while waiting in the room. A supermodel look-a-like with the face of a causasian mix with eastern european looks walks in. She is even hotter compare to what he gets yesterday. He almost jumps up and falls of his chair. He was too delighted. She says" If you catch me, i will give you the best day in your life!". He went berserk and like a wild horse, he runs and chase after the girl in the room. Like what had happen yesterday, he was even more happier this time and to his delight he lost 10kg as promised. He was having the time of his life. He went out the room and decided at that moment he wanted to take the 3rd slimming package right away. He was so happy and satisfied that he knew that the last package will be even more mind-blowing and more fantastic than the previous 2.

He went to the receptionist and says that he wanted to take the 3rd package right away. He was escorted into a room as usual. His heart beats faster than a F1 car. He was having sweaty palms. He was excited and he was feeling great! Then, with all the climaxes and excitement running down his blood, enters 2 muscular naked 7feet man that resembles a Triple H from WWF. Both of them says simultaneously, "If both of us catch you, we will have you tied up and have you for breakfast tomorrow morning!"

Hahaha. Enjoy!