Freaking Fucking Pissed Off

Even until now, i am still feeling fucked up, the feeling of being played in multi directions with no ending and end in sight. I do not know how to end this fucking feeling. Perhaps, i am lost and i do not know what is the next step to do. Just confuse and is freaking confusing. Still have this damn feeling of shit in me. Dunno why. Maybe i'll proceed again to this cafe and eat the shit whole lot of ice-cream to cool myself down and smoke like chimney again. Feeling of eating ice-cream to cure this soreness in my heart and just let the ice melt in my mouth and have the brain freezing sensation.

Fucker! Hate the fucking feeling. Now is just hoping that this funny freaking feeling of fucked up will fade away soon. Hopefully when i finish my ice-cream later, everything will be better. With all the stress at office to out performed the expectation, responsibilities and duties to be done, added on summore with the fucking manager and the shitty liar whom we thought we could trust, with my family small little problems, missing my family and Romeo as well, time shortage when i go back to Malaysia next week for all the things to do and all the time allocated to do all these things in the time frame that is so tight, hell no wonder i'm so fucking stress up this freaking fucking week. My schedule for the next month is solid book with works and activities, even with no time for any error or mistakes. Shit! Can even have some time to relax or let go some stress except on weekend.

I'm really looking forward to this weekend and have a enjoyable and relaxing time. Time whereby stress is less and i am able to let go of work, except i have to work this Saturday for replacement day. Shit less 1 day to rest and straight to work next Monday. And i have to arrange all my schedules to fit into the already super tight week. Money is not a pleasure for me also for now. Financial is very tight with no rooms for extra expenditure nor i am be able to do anything or buy anything expensive for the next 3 months. This is how tight my situation is.

Really looking forward to let go and relax and just cool down. Imagining sitting on a lazy chair by the beachside, during sunset, with winds chilling blowing at your body and face, listening to the sound of waves rocking against the rock and sands giving me ultimate pleasure to relax and chill out. Holding at my hand is a cuppa of ice latte, wet and cool. I can really imagine the scenario and the cooling effect on me right now.

Really hoping that this freaking fucking shitty shit feeling will flame off soon enough. Fuck those fuckers!

Ciao...