To be or not to be.....

Today is Monday. Under normal circumstances, it would be a blues monday. A monday of boringness for normal employee with mindset of employment. The conditions are totally correct if your mindset are set to be gloomy today. Wet wet morning with coldness striking to your bones, lack of proper sleep due to the coldness, gloomy without any signs of sunshine and rays of light. I am sleepy too..........

But, i decided to be strong and to be metal hearted. I decided TODAY not to have any kind of feeling. I do not wish to feel soft, i do not wish to feel sorry, i do not wish to feel bad, i do not wish to feel mushy and i decided not to let any negative circumstances to affect my day at my work and my life. I just wanted to badly to make my day at work to be at its best. To be positive and to be constructive would be best word that i fits me today.

I felt guilty and i felt it more than ever before. I felt guilty the last weekend. I felt sorry and i felt miserable at time. Times after and during when i talk to my Darling reminding me of my Romeo and all the happens that happens. I kept on being guilty even during my drinking session. I felt stupid. I felt negative. I felt pulled down. I did not smile. My heart is heaving. My mind is exhausted. I am lost for words..........

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I decided not to let any negative news and negative mindset to affect my mood. I decided today when i wake up this morning. I wanted so badly to success. I wanted so badly to have an enjoyable life. I decided to be joyful. I will be joyful and i shall be happy. T.H.I.S. is how successful and rich people starts. From their mind when they decided to be strong and NOT letting anything to comes between them and the things that they want. I am STRONG! My mind is set to be smiling sunshine today. I felt different from that moment on.

Today is just perfect! Monday morning, a start to a whole new week. Raining and coldness makes my day! Its just perfect to be accompanied by a glass of hot coffee and some cookies. It is good. I felt good. I smoke my 1st stick of ciggy this morning. I ate 2 bananas. It felt good! It is superb. I walk in the dazzling chilling coldness of the rain. I laughed and smile non-stop this morning day. I makes jokes and i laugh at silly little things. I sing songs. I sang Merry Christmas and Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. I make a double shot cappucino in the office. I listens to tunes that makes my day. I am going to blast tunes to bass and techno in the afternoon to get my warranty work done.

I do not wish to feel guilty anymore. I wish to be joyful and to be successful. I am going to be successful in the future. I am positive and i am not going to let anything to take away my dreams. I am strong and i am steel. I am indeed a steel monkey. I am hard willed and i am going to be logical. I am me.........

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I live by the words: "Whats the point of living when there is no joy in life?" and "Watch out "sky", you can never beat the hell out of me and i am going to be stronger after this!"