Tormentation of Pain

I am confused. I am lost and i dunno what to do. I have lost faith and lost my direction. I am feeling like a little boy lost in the streets with all eyes looking everywhere else except me. People just walks by ignoring each other and do not even give a shit about anything else anymore. What do you do when you reach this situation and this crappy times?

There's nothing much i can do right now but to get myself out of this shit hole i've dig for myself for the last couple of years. 5 years to be exact. Sometimes, the stress is unbelievable and it just keep on piling on me and onto my chest making me dizzy and having a hard time to breathe. Sleep is a no-no when it comes to that time. Your brains and chest just goes haywire and everything seems negative. Destructive it seems and it does.

What do you do when u face unbearable stress and unhappiness? Do you run away from it all, do you face it and solve the problem logically like a man or do you just sit down at your couch facing the TV holding a bottle of beer looking like a zombie? I don't know. It maybe seems that i am running away from my problems, but i believe that i am facing it and making a huge sacrifice as the pillar of strength of the family. Being away from your family and son when they are so young and infant, for me, is a huge sacrifice. I'm having a difficult times ahead and i am currently. Maybe its payback after years of comfortable living. I don't know. I am lost.

Perhaps someone kind enough could share some of my grief and my burdens right now. I am feeling down. I don't know what else whould i do. The only thing that is consoling me right now, is by listening to songs, that touch my heart by its catchy tunes. I am sad. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day. I am looking forward to it. Please, Please, Please stop tormenting me.

Fuck it all. I shall be strong and i am determine to do that. I am going to bounced back even stronger after this.

Yes! I am going to be!